Black Dragon uninvited

What do you do when a black dragon shows up in your living room? Do you ward it off with the white light? Pulling off the Gandolf versus Balrog 😉 … The only difference is, this one was not breathing fire at me and did not look like a Lord of the Underworld. Or do you pretend it is not there? You know, the elephant in the room kind of thing… Yet it is much bigger than an elephant, a massive impressive creature with an intimidating presence, to say the least.  It showed up one night while I was practicing the Golden Lotus spiral movements, learnt with Lujan Matus a couple of weeks ago. I felt like somebody or something was watching me practice from behind my back. I felt it was a dark presence, and I felt like we were moving in sync. When suddenly, I heard a voice which sounded like my own saying, “hey girl, it seems like your shadow grew bigger. Dare you turn around and see it for yourself.” Those who know me would tell you that I never fail to respond to being dared, and not always in the safest ways… But with age we do become wiser I guess. And maybe somewhat less brave 🙂 . Refusing to get involved, I decided to go on with my practice, ignoring the voice, the whatever was watching me from behind my back and this whole annoying ‘the elephant in the room’ thing hoping it would just disappear (isn’t that the whole point of the elephant in the room, it’s annoyning and we hope it will somehow disappear…).

Not only did ‘the elephant in the room’ not disappear, it started coiling around my body all the way up to my neck. At the very second I started feeling slightly choked, the imminence of the encounter hit me, and its huge head appeared glaring at me, eye to eye. I will admit to having felt goose bumps all over.  At the same time I will admit to having known from the beginning that ‘the elephant’ was actually a black dragon in my living room. Actually two black dragons to be more precise. I knew that they spiraled their tales into one tale trying to lock it in my heart. One dragon head was going to spiral further to my left side, around my heart, through the left shoulder, spiraling through my arm resting its head in my left wrist with its claws locking into the fingers of my left hand. The other dragon head was going to spiral differently, to the right side up my neck nestling in my right eye. Unsure of what’s going on, I chose not to allow it to do so. Hence the black dragon rose its head facing me, thus making our meeting unavoidable.

One of the shamanic tracking technics I was trained on and have used extensively is called ‘left eye to left eye’. But the dragon was seeing through my right eye, bringing upon me the unbearably heat and the utmost uncomfortable feelings. I almost forgot to be scared! I think my shaman self recognized that I cannot be scared in its presence or I shall succomb to its fire. It demanded an unweavering determination and unshakable personal power to stand it’s gaze. I closed my eyes and ‘poofed’ it’s presence away. I know, it sounds like a desperately stupid move, as if one could really poof the breath of fire from a mighty dragon with one’s own breath… I wasn’t as stupid to enter into a battle, I think we know the winner and the loser of that one 🙂 . But I did finally try to make it disappear by closing my eyes. I should have known better, because mind you, it had already been in my right eye for many months. I kept seeing it when I was awake and in my sleep, when I gazed at rain or blue skies, in the flicker of candles and on the walls of Thai temples, in the sound of waves and even when I dove under water. But it was such a tiny black appearance, almost like a minuscule black distortion in my eye sight, I didn’ t even recognize it!

I know, I know, feel free to laugh, call me crazy or a downright liar. How could the black dragon be so big to fill up my entire living room yet so tiny in my eye that I couldn’t even recognize it?! Well, well, let me tell you, this one can change its size as it deems fit. I have befriended many power animals over the course of my life, as well as certain animal archetypes over the course of my work. I have inherited certain animal archetypes through my lineage as well, and they are fully integrated into my energy field. They are my guides and my protectors and I love and respect all of them. Yet none of them have the gift to work through fire and air, earth and water all at the same time. The black dragon does!  And I am hesitating to integrate its gifts… Why? Because this is the first time that such a creature comes to me, I wouldn’t say ‘unwanted’ but surely uninvited. Unless it comes with its own agenda…

But here’s another thought, what if the black dragon is actually Quetzalcoitl in disguise? Remember, before this summer, I was seeking to connect more with Qutzalcoitl, the keeper of the Middle World – our immediate world. Isn’t a dragon a universal creature which appears in almost all cultures, from Mesopotamia, Babylon and Sumeria, to China, Tibet, Japan and Korea, from Greek, Norse, French and Slavic dragons to African rainbow dragons and Mayan winged serpents. In some cultures it represents good, bringing blessings and protection upon the earth, and in some it is evil, having to be conquered and killed.  The only thing I know is that my black dragon showed up in the practice while I was working through a pile of built up emotions of anger and grief. Is my black dragon then a blessing in disguise, who has come to help me? Or is it an underworld creature who has come to feed off my unhealed wounds?

My new friend, who I nicknamed ‘the Little Buddha’ for all his help in learning the coiling movements, whatsapp-ed me: “Don’t regard the black dragon as good or bad. When we meet new things with old thoughts and emotions, our heart can’t be truly open to the present moment… Just let it be and pay it little attention until you are empty enough for the black dragon’s energy to reveal the truth to you.”
What a great reminder of the gift of patience – totally forgotten in our world of instant gratification 🙂 .

Feel free to share your thoughts!!!! xox

p.s. I always wanted a sacred tattoo but was too chicken to get one, so I got one for our entrance some years ago… Interesting 🙂

37 thoughts on “Black Dragon uninvited

  1. Good story and mysterious ending. Much like life! I like your friends reminder to embrace the energies/ dragon without labeling and judging. I’ve been practicing that with circumstances and emotions. And still moments when I wish I could blink them away! 🙂

    • Hey Brad, I’m so happy you are also one of us who can appreciate life’s good stories and mysterious ways 😉 . You are so right, when we don’t label and judge we live very different experiences and life may surprises us in some very unexpected ways. Thanks for sharing! xox

  2. Gigantic and tiny all at once, yes! The familiar feeling of the ever expansion and contraction.
    So delighted to see your post today as my mentor just recently passed along “Woman in the Shaman’s Body: Reclaiming the Feminine in Religion and Medicine” by cultural anthropologist Barbara Tedlock. Have you read this?
    Glad to see you back!

    • Hey Girl thanks for sharing the book, I will check it out. It’s interesting that both you and Eric noted similar movement in the story (he mentioned the ebb and flow of tides). That’s a real eye opener for me! Thx xox

  3. Reminds me a bit of tides that ebb and flow. “When we meet new things with old thoughts and emotions, our heart can’t be truly open to the present moment…” The essence here, I believe. Change in lens/perspective opens new doors, especially when invited through the heart.

    • Yes and yes! I thought that too when I read his message. I am not empty, I am still colored by old thoughts and emotions that I have been working through, and on top of it my shamanic teachings come from a different tradition. But any true shamanic path is a path of the ❤ …
      You are gonna loooove this one: I found out that there's a Tibetan instrument called a dragon bowl, that one fills up with water, and it uses the principle of the ebb and flow in its sound creation! The higher you can make the water jump, the longer your longevity. How cool is that 🙂 xox

  4. I am so impressed by your courage. I felt frightened just reading your post.Yet from what I know from my lucid dreams, when you accept what shows up and stay in your power, no harm is done and the ” monsters” soften before your eyes.

    love ya,

    Awesome tattoo BTW 🙂

    • Oh and yes, I ❤ your comment about 'monsters'. It is when we get overwhelmed by fear that any 'monster' keeps getting bigger. Whereas when we can stay with the fear and look it in the eyes, any monster starts melting away… Thanks for sharing your experience, because personal experiences always carry power, they are never just empty words 😉 xox

    • Unfortunately in the modern world we tend to banalize dreams, and we have lost our connection to the dreamworld. I think any kid would tell you that adults dismissing their dreams as fantasy, imagination or ‘not real’ doesn’t help make them any less real for that kid. Recurring childhood (bad) dreams are often an indication of unresolved karmic issues or past life memories. Or, for some children, they result from their ability to ‘see’ other energies and spirits in their dreams or at the night time (in the darkness). I have worked with several children who are highly attuned and helping them learn to ‘ward off’ bad dreams and bothersome energies, and create and maintain boundaries actually help them more… I.e. acknowledging that their dreams are real is actually less scary to them than discarding them as ‘not real’.
      Btw, I wanted to let you know that your poem Under the claw and the accompanying image are awesome! (comments were closed, I could leave one) And it really reminded me of my dragon post 🙂
      Here’s the link for the reader’s of my blog, I’m sure they would also appreciate your beautiful photography
      luv xox

      • Thanks for the explanation, I’m very happy. very usefull.
        I ‘m honored about the link under the claw, thousand thanks dear friend, till your new post. Warm reagrds @Della

  5. I got the chills reading this. I honestly don’t know how I would react if a dragon showed up in my living room. I have dealt with unseen spirits, hot, putrid, dangerous and yes, have faced them one on one, and with LOVE have conquered them. But, a dragon? I heard “wisdom” speak when you said don’t see the dragon as bad or good (conception) but be neutral and accepting. Or something like that. Not easy to do when fear is up in our throats choking the heck out of us. I am really blown away by your experience. You have a Brave Heart! xx Amy

  6. Hmmm.

    “A path laid open by a Dragon of Shadows is a path of much mystery.”
    (An ancient Dragon proverb I remembered from a past life.)

    Though a temptation to ignore, as we do many of our personal “shadows”, speaks of facing our shadows, intead. A Dragon of the Shadow is a beckoning where others may have failed to get our attention. Sometimes we may see what appears to be an apparition of something frightful and sinister, without counting the possibility that it may also be a reflection of what is weighing in on our Soul.

    You were correct in that a Dragon (especially one who is so ancient), is master of all the elemental powers (though, he/she may prefer more working with a particular type energy). To be invited to commune with such a Dragon, bears a significant meaning. A Dragon shares only what is needed to be known at that time. We often miss that meaning, because it is often hidden in allegory, symbolism, and seemingly-unrelated contexts, but it is there. Therefore, it does sometimes take great patience (as a Dragon be) to learn and to understand that which is given. Each and every lesson, has its place. Each and every instance, there is an answer to learned.

    I take this happening to mean that something of great significance is needing your attention. The Dragon may employ many methods and means to get your attention if you are not aware of that which is pressing. A Shadow Dragon works to reveal that which is deeply hidden or forgotten, and well within your grasp of understanding. If we are “invited” to travel into the Land of Shadows, we are simply being invited to take a deeper look into our own being – that is, deep into our subconscious, spiritual memories.

    This almost reminds me of a few such “travels” with a few rather “dark” Dragons from years ago. Each “event” forced me to re-examine myself, from the inside-out, as to what meaning I was to find in life. It was only then, when I ceased being afraid of them, that they came to my comfort, and taught me many things. This is also one of the many reasons why I left the “church”, and began the journey of learning – especially of the so-called “forbidden knowledge” that the “church” and its followers so feared: The Knowledge of the True Being, A Being as a Child of the God(s). Self-empowerment was to become one of the results of this travel. As most “churches” want you powerless, and in “their hands” your future to be, the Dragon prods us to rediscover who and what we are. Being that they are mankind’s oldest teachers, why not – shall we again learn from them, about ourselves, and about the Divine Universe we (re-)find ourselves in?

    Mark this part of your journey well! For if it be a Dragon of Shadows (“Black Dragon”) who guides you, it is a Path of Much Mystery that awaits you.

    – Rev. Dragon’s Eye

    Further reading:

    • Wow Rev. Dragon’s Eye, I read your comment in one go holding my breath, cause you are the one I’ve been waiting for 😉
      I rarely share my personal experiences on my blog, as I intended it to be about my shamanic work with others as well as the universal workings of the Spirit. But, ever since I stopped client work last year, I realize more and more that sharing authentic personal spiritual experiences carries great power that is felt by those who are listening. Your sharing carries such power!
      I have obviously communed with the black dragon(s) a little more than I wrote about and I do have a certain feel of their energy. It is veeeery ancient, and I think you are spot on when you say that we learnt from dragons since the oldest times.
      Ignorance is a poor teacher 🙂 . You bet I had to be cornered… By a dragon! To make me face some of the things you have mentioned, that yes I do have a good grasp of, but haven’t managed to resolve so far. This is one of the reasons why I looked to work with Lujan Matus… And got black dragons instead – I know they are a blessing in disguise, and you have confirmed this to me (I needed it, there you go 🙂 .
      I have read the post you recommended and can really relate to the rhythm and movement you described in the dance of the two serpents (btw two other people commented on the similar movement they felt in my story).
      Last few times I finished my practice, I took some time to observe the two black dragons moving and they actually end up creating the 8s of fire – the infinity symbol.
      Thank you so so much for showing up at the perfect time!
      I really loved The Song of The Ring of Thirteen, it evokes something truly powerful. xox

      • >;=))====

        The Wisdom of Dragons is timeless.

        When we cease our abject (and socitaly-trained) fear of them, we are ready to become as their students. My Great Walk in Tiamat’s shadow has been one of unbridled curiosity and a profound sense of adventure.

        Our deepest, darkest recesses within our Being, are often where the most scary things hide (because WE hide them there).

        – Much obliged and honored. >;=))====

        – Rev. Dragon’s Eye

  7. What fantastic writing…really suspenseful and in many ways relatable ~ and I like the idea that it is there to help 🙂 To give both courage and comfort ~ and I love the past photo of the dragons and yin-yang. Wish you a great weekend.

    • Thanks Randy! Yes yes it is here to help, I just gotta get used to the idea 🙂 . I thought you may know something about the Chinese dragon (don’t Chinese people consider themselves the descendants of the dragon?), mine one resembles Chinese or Tibetan dragon.
      Btw it is not the past photo, it is a current one, we still have that dragons yin-yang tattoo on our wall… Isn’t that amazing?! How our subconscious is always one step ahead 🙂 luv xox

      • Yes, the dragon is such a powerful/mysterious part of the Chinese culture ~ my birth sign is the ‘little dragon’ and the reach of these ideas around the globe is amazing. You capture it all so well. Take care 🙂

  8. Really enjoyed your story, and I much resonate with your friend’s advice. I was thinking/feeling before I read it that the black dragon was something neither good nor evil, a kind of raw power with which efforts to relate would undoubtedly skid sideways if not framed by wisdom. I am left with a feeling of excitement and curiosity for what lies ahead for you… 🙂


    • Haha, Im glad we share in the curiosity and excitement. I have to say that spending too much time (and most of all energy) working in the underworld in the last couple of years made me slightly “allergic” to any appearance that may have something to do with the shadow worlds. Hence I might have called the black dragon “bad” as it shows up in the darkness and reminds me of dungeons that once were and I may not want to visit again… On the other hand, it also does decend from the skies, is in love with the oceans (just like me, you and B. Fuller 😉 ), and breathes fire, the quickest energy transformer in the physical world. But my being chose to focus on the dungeons making me feel repulsive. So guess what, the dungeons is gonna be when I am ready. Once a shaman always a shaman, there is no stepping back 🙂 . I have a feeling my nice little break is over. Will keep you posted xox

  9. Pingback: The Power of Creation | shamanictracking

  10. I find this post so fascinating ST.. as a medium and in the past running a circle of development.. I had the good fortune to meet a young man who saw such things as you mention…. He had such knowledge as yourself.. And there is a lot more I could say but will refrain from doing in respect of his experiences.. But they are real and not the imaginings of imagination..
    The veils are lifting too for those who are more in-tune with the etheric plane..
    I had once upon a time what I can only explain as an OBE as I lifted from my form.. I met a red 3 headed Dragon.. He showed me the future of the world in some far of time of space.. I will tell you of that experience if you wish.. .. Nothing how ever is ever cast in stone.. And I found the meeting with that 3 headed Dragon one of the most memorable and vivid experiences.. It was definitely no Dream…

    Many thanks ST for your recounting your own amazing experience … You had me captivated from start to finish of your post 🙂

    • Oh Sue, I am so excited to learn that you know of somebody who has had similar dragon-related experience and that you have had some yourself! I unwillingly share such experiences publicly but this time I decided to do it for that exact reason, i.e. hoping that I can learn more about dragon energies from others. And your experiences count immensely for me! So yes, I would love to hear more! Let me know the best way 🙂 xox

  11. Dear Shamanictracker,

    Your post reminded me of some of Marcus Leader’s work over at the Shaman’s brew pod cast. I have had a few themes with dragons in my life, and “two dragons” have come up in my artwork. My two dragons might be goofy- there’s something funny about them – they aren’t quite sure how to manifest. A few years ago I was studying Kung Fu with Pai Lum, White dragon style. Your post is amazingly fascinating, and yes, scary. The way you spoke of this dragon seeing through your ‘right eye’ seemed like a special message. The feeling is that this dragon is the next stage. Do you think that this dragon will bring you to where you are going? I’m not sure why I asked you that question. What an amazing process! I love how you didn’t succumb to your fear and your shaman self stepped in.

    Much Love,

    • Awwww Ka I am so happy to learn that even more people had different dragon experiences. It’s so cool you practiced kung fu. I find the Golden Lotus series very liberating and graceful (it’s based on kung fu and quigong movements). I will check out both Marcus Leader’s work and the White dragon. Thanks so much for sharing!
      I actually think that the dragon will deter me from where I am going… But let’s give it (and me 🙂 ) a bit more time before jumping to conclusions 😉 . much ❤ to you xox

      • Yay! I just watched a little bit of this, “Golden Lotus” and it made me tear up to see these little children be so AMAZING!!! (I hope the link works) Is this Golden Lotus? I can’t see the technique beyond these adorable kids wielding the weapons… plus, I have to get back to my current activities. I thought it might make you smile. I could be wrong…

        Nice sharing with you my shaman friend, aloha, aloha, and we’ll continue in time… completely agree with you about conclusions (and not jumping into them- hastily–> messy). xoxo, Ka

  12. Whoow what a story… and so easy to fall into fear if we don’t know better… What comes up for me is… Time to celebrate the flowing of your true power and wisdom… Time to embrace the fire power and allow no doubts or fear to stop you.. take care great shaman… Barbara

  13. I don’t think you are crazy at all. I’m wondering if the Dragon represents an aspect of your own shadow self that is demanding acknowledgement so it can be integrated. It could be the psychic embodiment of that grief and anger that you were wrestling with. In which case you have to face that fear and find the courage to open to it and look it directly in both eyes. Good luck!

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