Journey to the Past: The Sacred & the Profane
I was recently back to my homeland, visiting my home town (hence I disappeared from the WP for a few weeks…). One evening I was having a drink (too much 🙂 ) in a cousin’s brand new, vantage inspired, funky bar with the high high ceiling. Overwhelmed by the sameness of the persistant background noise created by the lively bar crowd’s chatter, I started losing my own crowd to the tall stain glass windows filled with glass bottles. I don’t know if it was the drinks, the noise or the play of colors on the glass, but I saw my life playing in front of my eyes and I remembered many things long forgotten. Like enchanted I stood up and walked out of the bar towards the temple outside. I thought I heard somebody calling me, a familiar voice. It was very distant but definitely familiar. I was looking for a face to appear on one of the narrow temple windows, when somebody grabbed my hand. A familiar warm feeling overcame my body and I shivered with excitement and pleasure. I felt his breath on my neck, his face in my hair and his hands on my thighs. I remember he would rarely speak to me but his eyes would talk. He often made eye contact and kept me close. I felt loved and safe in his presence.
He asked me to come along and we walked together, strolling the streets of my youth. They seemed as dark as I remember them but walking with him I felt lighter. We walked for a long time, I didn’t feel tired. We must have walked many times together, I was thinking, unable to locate any of our walks. I didn’t feel like telling him anything, he knew who I was anyways. We had met before, I remembered vividly his gentle touch on my hips. I remembered he would come to my chambers and never undress me. He would look at me patiently with his tender wise eyes until I was ready to undress, always in a dim light. I was used to being naked in front of men, yet I felt unusually shy undressing for him. I felt like I was stripping down all my heavy armor in surrender. I learnt not to trust anybody but I trusted him. I remembered that he never kissed me. I was used to not being kissed. Many men entered my chambers with only lust in their eyes. I never saw lust in his eyes, only grace. He would approach me from behind, wrap his arms around my waste and hold my belly. I was never a wife. Or a mother. But when he held me like that I knew how it felt to be both. As he made love to me, his movements were slow and slight. He would hold me very close and tight, pulling me to his side, and he would lie down close to me, our bodies touching, for a long time. He was the only one I ever lied down with.
The street lights grew more intense on me. They made my head spin, and I started walking at a different pace. I felt I was raging and fighting with myself. I awoke the beast, the wildeling in me wanted to run. Somewhere far away. Where he could not find me anymore, where I would forget about him. Where I would forget that he once loved me and betrayed me. He watched me die. He did watch me die, I remember that clearly. The one who tamed me, the one who conquered me, is the one who sacrificed me. In the end, he was the high priest, with a status and the right to marry. He stood there with her, and she wanted me dead. I was a qadishtu, the one to sacrifice. Or was I?
The blinding lights brought me back to the city of my childhood. Love and fire, an unextinguished fire made it difficult for me to see. I always saw blurry as a child. But I could read straight through people’s eyes. Unmistakably. He had deep and gentle eyes. I was looking at them then, I am looking at them now. He loves me. He always loved me. He sent me from heaven to hell and back. This is my heaven. He is my heaven, my Habibi. Sa Sekhem Sahu ❤
I learnt from the Inka tradition that we can shed our past in the same way the serpent sheds her skin. All at once… Or a bit by bit 🙂 .
For many cultures around the world, the serpent is an ancient symbol of passion, sensuality, life and rebirth, and represents the integration of the masculine and feminine energies.
Here are the two links if you wish to learn more about the origin of qadishtu – priestesses or sacred prostitutes?, and Natib Qadish, an ancient Canaanite Religion:
An interesting take on Jesus – the Man and the Myths by my galpal blogger Beverly at http://ghosttalkblog.com:
An interesting journey into time by another great galpal blogger Linda at lindalitebeing.wordpress.com/:
Welcome back sweetie! I was right with you for the ride and it was so intense, so NOW….
per usual, your evocative posts stir the soul and awaken the heart. More links to explore, yea 😉
thanks for adding my link too.
Heeey Linda Girl i’m always veeeery happy to hear from you. Yes, you were right their with me because it really was an intense ride 🙂
Your touching comments always make me feel like I wanna do more – cause let’s be honest, I was a bit lazy when it comes to blogging lately… Hence lots of catching up to do but looking forward! Mucho amor para ti xox
always happy to provide inspiration. I so enjoy yor blog because you have such a fresh unique point of view. You show yourself and your SELF is so beautiful and loving.
You have such a great writing style, drew me in from the first sentence to the last…and this was one of those sensual/life loving posts that you bring so often… Continue on this tremendous path you are on 🙂
Thank you so so much!! I always take your feedback to heart ❤
I am so honored to be encouraged by a sensitive, sensual and poetic soul such as yours 🙂 You have the most amazing photography blog and your photographs are exceptional! I hope you know that xox
p.s. I would love to ask you for some photography advice, do you mind contacting me at firstname.lastname@example.org cause I cannot find a contact on your blog. Thanks!
An exciting tale! Captivating and most interesting!
Thank you for your kind comments Eddie, as always it is really great to hear from you! xox
An interesting journey…intoxicating and sensuous! Thanks for sharing my link…by the way it’s Beverly (not Barbara).
Hi Bev, I feel soooo bad, it was 1am and I was out of it, please forgive me 🙂 I corrected it in my post.
I saw in my reader that you went to Marocco, that’s so exciting! I still gotta read about it… I am sure the long trip was totally worth it. I wish I could go to the desert once, it’s on my list 😉 Love xox
I got a chuckle out of it because it’s not the first time I’ve been called Barbara …perhaps in another life?? Morocco was awesome…definitely worth the trip. I still think about the desert experience every day.
” I learnt from the Inka tradition that we can shed our past in the same way the serpent sheds her skin. All at once… Or a bit by bit ”
I was fascinated in reading this story .. And I am not one bit surprised as the door between veils are thinning as we release our past… My own layers have been one by one… over the years.. One such layer you can find here.. http://suedreamwalker.wordpress.com/2011/07/21/past-life-regression-part-1/.. Part 2 followers on the next post..
Many thanks for sharing your most interesting journey into the past… Love and Light dear friend 🙂 xxxx
Can’t wait to read it Sue, and I’m sure many more will be reading the part 2! I find that some patterns we manage to release all at once, but some really do take time. It’s important to stay aware and persist… It’s hard work 🙂 Love always xox
Such a sensual story! Oh my! 🙂 Thanks for spicing up my day! You never know what’s gonna come out of those nooks and crannies of awareness. What a treat to remember; and, for it to be shareable! I’m listening to the guitar music in the youtube link as I type a reply. (since I moved S.W., I feel like I’ve been vibing on some of the work of Taisha Abelar – who supposedly disappeared). Who has enough time, Shaman? LOL. Was that a shaman joke, or have I failed to be funny?
I love that you come and go as you need – and work so much with Spirit. We’ve got some awesome people in our ever-widening WP + beyond circles. Saying ‘nice to be acquainted’ feels like an understatement. Best, Ka
I love love Jesse Cook, would got to his concert any time. And she has a lovely voice. Their performance touched me deeply.
T. Abelar is an interesting read… C.Castaneda and his bunch are certainly mysterious and controversial. Yet I often refer to his later books, it’s a great source of info for us astral travelers.
I am happy I spiced up your day, that’s the best feedback I could get 🙂 Glad you enjoyed this post.
And thanks again for including me in the Earth goddess sistahood ❤ xox
I wanted to keep on reading, didn’t want it to end 😊 loved the metaphore of shedding our pasts just as serpents shed their skin. I guess with every new layer, the skin toughens and shines even more so. Thank you for sharing. Zeina
Hi Zeina, great to see you here! I wanted to keep on writing 😉
But I promised myself that I’ll keep my posts as concise as possible and to the point, without being superficial. I am the first one to admit that I rarely read long posts…
This is often a major challenge, especially when it comes to allowing a free artistic expression to come through without feeling like I am restricting or distorting it in any way. And also respecting the essence and authenticity of my clients experiences, which are often the inspiration for my poetic posts and art work. I find that using the visuals really help me, but most of all always working with and trusting in the spirit 🙂
I love the metaphor of not only shedding but also growing new skin that toughens us and make us shine even more! Thank you ❤ xox
I totally agree with you, I try and keep my writing concise and to the point as well. You did a great job with this piece.
captivating story, and journeys of the heart. I loved the music on the video too. Thanks!
Thank you very much for your comment xox